Hi- Just my opinion/advice, from my own experience 17 years ago, (rape by a casual acquaintance), until you realize and more importantly accept that
the actions of this "creepy, weird" sexual predator are NOT your fault, not even slightly,
you will never be able to start healing and move-on.
I know many others will suggest you speak with a therapist (usually good advice), but I did and it didn't help (not her fault, it was mine for refusing to internally be convinced what she was saying over and over and over was trye that it was not my fault and likely nothing I could have done to prevent what happned...
Please save yourself years of heartache and distress, and realize sooner, not later,
, that normal boys/men don't act that way.
Talking to any person is not a green light for assault. Same applies to "being somewhere by choice, dressing a certain way" and on and on.
. Not your fault...Really!
It's impossible to predict what people can/may do until you know them really, really well.
Be thankful he didn't go any further (I hope), and use this awful experience to be a bit more cautious whenever you meet someone new,
but please don't blame yourself--Only HE is responsible for the inappropriate things he said or did.
Btw, there's a section in this forum for people who have been victims of sexual assault...Maybe spending some time reading other people's stories will help you to understand that blaming ourselves is very normal but also very unhealthy, because it is impossible for it to be your fault (what somebody else says and does).
And even being very cautious, is not always fool proof.
You just happened to be in the wtong place at the wrong time. And sadly there likely are many others he's done the exact same thing to...That's why people like him are called predators:
One that victimizes, exploits, plunders, or destroys, especially for one's own gain.
If you need someone to listen o the details of why you (wrongly) believe you deserve blame for his actions, I'm here, but know I'm fairly certain there is nothing you could say that would convince me that you deserve any blame for his exploiting you.
Blaming yourself just leaves you stuck and scared...Even severe anger (towards him) for awhile, is a more useful emotion, towards eventual healing.
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