Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenWaves
To me it sounds like she's using favors to earn the approval of other people.
When the people don't show their appreciation then she gets upset?
Kind of like "I'm giving people what they want and they STILL don't like me!"
Or is it that she's "offering" these favors like a ride in order to be included in the activity that's going on, whatever it is. If so, this isn't the right way to become part of the group. If anything, she will become the "go to" person to be used and not necessarily included with any plans. In a lot of groups of friends there is that one person who is always putting themselves out there an yes they get to tag along with the others, but they're never really an integral part of the group. Their "job" is to just be there for rides or money or whatever else is needed. Is it possible that this is happening?
|
I honestly agree. I never thought of it that way and what you said totally makes sense. She even admitted to pretending to be someone she isn't in order to fit in so most likely even though she feels annoyed about driving people somewhere, she does it in order to be included into a social group. She felt excluded a lot so most likely she just wanted to feel accepted. And yes she got upset when she didn't get approval from others a lot. Upset enough that she would start backstabbing whoever she thought did her wrong. Eventually it cost her friends she liked hanging out with. I am the only person from the same college she still talks to and even that is very rare.
I agree with you also that they were most likely using her since they weren't all that close to her. She felt way closer to them than they did to her. And two of the friends me and her hung out with me were actually dating so they were always looking for alone time as well, which she had a hard time accepting even though I was very understanding about them wanting privacy. So yeah, that probably plays a bit part in why she acted that way. Looking for acceptance but got annoyed in the process since she inconvenienced herself. I remember telling her to not do that so much but she never listened and even got mad at me for trying to get involved in her friendships with the other friends, even though I was already friends with them to begin with.