I'm just so irritated I left early from work. I don't know why. It takes a lot to be with other people and 'faking it' all day long. Some days are good. And if I feel overlooked and ignored, I really get angry. Then I turn inward and don't say much, and don't try to contact that person. We're in the same office.

Now I just feel hopeless and depressed about everything, my whole life, the way I act and feel. The pointlessness of everything. Perhaps I just have to accept these days knowing they will come, and (hopefully) good days will come again. Right now I just came back home, had to write something. I don't know if it makes much sense. A lot of thoughts and feelings come up in me all of a sudden. A lot of resentment too about my family not supporting me now, and my mom and dad not having been there for me when I was younger. It has caused me SO much grief and problems. If I had had a more normal upbringing I'm sure I would be a different person. A better functioning person. Anyway I just had to write some of my thoughts down.