I'm 45! Although you'd think from what I describe that we're 25.

And I get it. I do. Everyone says I must thrive on the chaos and spying. Well I don't have any other way of finding out the truth about anything. I don't have the nerve to confront him on anything, as was seen last night when I came home and he gave me the BS story about how his boss is still working on his transition (after 2 weeks!) to the other dept and told him not to come in until Thursday when I know it's a blatant lie because I saw the messages and I just said "Oh okay" not letting on that I know anything. The only way I can ever find out what is really going on is for me to spy. Even if he tells me he's sick and can't work, I don't believe him because he cries wolf so much. As I said, he has no idea I do any of this. I don't want to talk to friends or family about him. I don't want to talk face to face with a counselor about him because I'm too shy and nervous to do that. I come to online sites to spout my problems and I know nobody wants to hear them but it's a way I can remain anonymous.

So I'm sorry that every one hates me and my stories. You are all right. I will not change my behavior or my ways and I will endlessly drone on about my issues and not fix them. What a sad sack I am.