Mapper, we don't hate you. The way I see it, both you and your H have problems. Neither of you are perfect. I mean, you spying is just as bad (in a different sort of way) as his terrible work ethic. You are both extremely lucky that you have jobs but are not making the most of the opportunity. If you can figure out how to be more direct with him--you will feel so much better about yourself. Maybe write it out and then try to read it to him. If you can't read it, then hand it to him. Maybe, share some of his pot with him, too, that might be really nice. You just need to get together and make sure that, together, you are both saving more than you spend. Perhaps he is doing what he does because you both ARE making enough. It's important to know where you are at. It doesn't have to be confrontational (don't tell him you spied about anything, just stop). If he refuses then you will maybe be more likely to take another step in the right direction in regards to everything. You are a worthwhile person who deserves to enjoy the "fruits of your labor."