Last week was the first week. It was like a culture shock to me. The way everything was, there. We all sat on pillows and it was dark in the room and there was a certain way to do things and they were teaching us how, and they kept coming over to me, because I was uncomfortable on the pillow, trying to help. and I felt so self conscious. about myself. about my body. everything. finally I just said I want to sit in a chair. Go me! But then I started crying. No one noticed, thank god. I hope. I considered leaving but it would have been a disruption and brought more attention. afterward we all sat and discussed stuff, like why we were there. When it got to my turn, I was so nervous my heart was beating so fast. I just said my name, and that I wasn't comfortable speaking in a group like that, and then it was the next persons turn.

There were things I liked about it too. Some of my classmates seemed really nice. But I dunno if I'm going back. I don't want to write stuff off like that just because I have a bad emotional reaction. but I also...it makes me not want to go back.