ive not had a proper relationship for four years now, had too much on my plate. I don't know quite where to start and if anyone will follow a big long post. But I ended up with a really possessive sometimes controlling person. I got really ill at eighteen and my mental health problems wreaked havoc.
I was with a man who wouldn't let me leave basically. I told him I didnt love him, but he used to say that I was lucky to have someone like him and I needed him to look after me. I lost all my friends and he was the only person who stuck around, I used to do the I hate u, but don't leave routine. I just wanted a friend I could rely on. But with him it was all or nothing and It was just a downward spiral. Its so hard to think back and how much I relied on a person yet despised them at same time. Everyone thought he was a saint that's why I stayed, fear, id lost my zest for life, just a shadow.....