Quote:
Originally Posted by Mapper
I've already spied about the debts. He's about $15,000 in credit card debt. I was upset a few years ago when it was only $500! Tack on about another $3000 in Pay Pal credit where he went when his credit card limits were reached. Owes about $10,000 on student loans, another $10,000 on a motorcycle loan. He never gets anywhere with these because he makes $100/month payments and then gets $75 interest tacked on.
And he won't EVER save. He never has and won't now. Sure he'll tell me after he sees how much our bills are that he'll bring his lunch to work everyday(that is, when he goes) and he won't buy video games and computer parts and motorcycle parts. That will last for a week and then the next week he's buying lunch every day because he's tired of making his own, going out with coworkers and spending $50 at a bar, buying a new, faster computer part for $200, a new, faster motorcycle part for $500. It doesn't matter how much I talk to him about it, he won't do it after a few days and go back to his usual ways.
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Then you really have to summon the courage to file for divorce. A therapist can help you with this. The fact that you haven't is because you aren't valuing yourself. You know I understand this. I feel bad about myself in many ways and as I told you once, I turned some of my anger I had toward my H inward upon myself and it was one of the reasons I attempted. If you can divorce and get to therapy to help you with your insecurities, you are going to feel so good about yourself. Don't let him ruin your life. You once said you couldn't divorce him because of his debts, it is just the opposite and any debts, like the student loan, that he accumulated before you were married will likely stay with him. Get out before he drags you down more. I truly believe we can only change ourselves, not others. In a way, you are lucky because you can afford to divorce and you have realized that he's not treating you right before being married for so long that it would really cost you a lot of money like it did Divine's H. As Tisha said, "Be free."