I feel bad about myself.I feel bad cos \i got cancer,it is my fault,I ate junk food and cakes chocolate etc. I still eat it sometimes I can't avoid it I get cravings I have to satisfy.i feel bad about that.

I think people hate me people I talk to on a forum online,even though I am told by them that they like me.people have hurt my feelings,knowing they don't care hurts, and makes me self hate,and self punish.
I want love,noone has ever loved me,I mean family have,some of them,and friends have but I have never had a partner.I want that kind of love I have never had it I am 52 and haven't been loved that way by anyone.
I get lonely and feel self hatred cos of that.

Some times I love myself and self validate and self support and that feels good.I did a lot of loving my inner child and that helped me a lot of accept myself and stop extreme distressing mental states.Looking after the little girl inside me giving her attention and love made ,makes me feel so safe and much more secure.I may feel low in self esteem tonight but generally usually I love myself.

I feel especially vulnerable tonight.