Alexandra, I understand about taking care of one's self but there are "important" ways to do that and there are non-essentials.

I cannot imagine choosing a colour over the chance of being able to communicate with another person; yellow, orange, gray (my favorite colors), doesn't matter what it is, cannot compare in reality, warmth, support and making me feel good, with communicating with another, live human being; especially with someone who asked me to do something so simple for them, to help them.

Requesting you to change your color wasn't an "attack" on you, wasn't someone trying to control you or get their way over you! Someone was hurting, expressed a desire to talk to you and you, in essence told them, "No, I'm not interested in you and your problems." How polite one's refusal was misses the whole point!