Maybe what things are 'important' and what things are 'non-essential' varies according to the person. What is important to a particular person might not be important to them later. Or what is important to a particular person might not be important to a different person. Similarly with what is non-essential.

I know that the person wasn't intending to attack me, control me, or manipulate me. I didn't think that the persons request was unreasonable or unfair.

I view it as a case of needs conflicting. This person needed one thing and I needed another.

Self-representation is something that is important to me. Choice of colour font in chat is... Somehow nearly as important to me as choosing what I'm going to wear for the day. Changing my colour would have felt (to me) like being asked to wear someone elses clothes - in a colour that didn't suit me.

I don't really expect that people understand this. In a way... I don't require people to. I just ask people to respect it. And... This person did. And I was grateful for that. And I hope that I didn't hurt their feelings or otherwise offend them.

Maybe it is about... Respecting... And accepting... Differences. Different needs and sometimes needs conflict. If there can be a comprimise then that is terrific. Sometimes a comprimise can't be reached, however, and there is little to do but agree to disagree...

And when one person requests that another person change their behaviour then the ultimate decision does rest with the person who is requested to change (unless there are rules or whatever of course). But even then...

There are consequences for the decisions one makes. I figured it was likely that this person wouldn't respond to my postings in chat. That is a consequence that saddens me, yes. I'm sure that it isn't optimal to be particularly attached to a particular colour.

I'm not sure if there is an option for someone to view all the chat text in black? I suggested that at the time incase it was possible for the person to change their settings. Not sure...

Fact is though that for some (maybe unfathomable) reason... It really is very important to me to be grey. And there it is.