Not a good evening here at my house. Earlier after son got home from his night class he told me "bad news, mom. the lady from the accident in December told me that she told me wrong about the amount of the estimate. Instead of $1070, it's actually $1700." And so hubby heard that and now he is going to get involved and he wants to try to talk her down and I and my son both said we should just pay her and be done with it already and son needed to do his homework but h would not let it go and i tried to explain to him in the other room why we should just pay it and be done and he started getting all annoyed and yelling at me and I reacted badly and left the room and when to move the laundry from the washer to the drier and I was mumbling under my breath at h not knowing son had come out into the hallway and he heard me mutter something about "I don't want to be married anymore" and that set him off and then I didn't know what to do and h started talking to him and I had to go outside so they wouldn't know I was bawling and everything was a huge mess. I waited until I stopped crying and came back inside and went and apologized to my son for what he heard, I told him I did not intend for him to hear that, that I was just very frustrated that his Dad wasn't listening to our thoughts and reasons for just paying the woman, that I am not leaving, and we talked for about an hour about him feeling so f'd up in his head and all of the things he wants to try to talk about with his t when he starts going again on Friday, he had a lot to say, and I feel like such a horrible person that he heard what I muttered under my breath and how much it hurt him to hear that. I am also feeling like an extremely selfish and terrible mother that I have been so focused on working through my own **** that I didn't even see how much pain my own child has been in, things are quite a mess in my house tonight, I hope my son can get some sleep, because I don't think I will. I have been so terribly selfish and I don't know how I live with that I just don't.