thanks growly. you're right my h needs to own up to his part too.

and SD definitely the "stop, breathe and remember...." bit is what I needed to hear. you're right, no parent is perfect and we're getting him counseling to help - it's just seeing the pain in his eyes and hearing it in his voice just made my heart feel like it was breaking into a million little pieces and at the moment, it being entirely my fault was all I could see.

Thanks for the wine, atat *passes the tray to BCM next*

I am trying very hard not to think that my son deserves a better mother than me.