I feel hurt. I've been trying to make myself emotionally numb and keep myself distracted all the time so I didn't have to deal with these feelings. But I can feel it now.
I think it's a good thing that I can at least realize this. Now I should stop trying to run away from it, I guess.
It's really hard but I will never get over it if I keep trying to ignore my feelings all the time.
I need some time alone and think.
I'm making a new music playlist and going to the gym early in the morning because it's more quiet then and it usually helps me to feel 'in touch with myself'. I'm feeling low and it will be hard to leave the house, but I guess it will be for the better.