I'm so sorry for what happened. I can relate to your feelings. I was close to losing a dear person in my life - I've felt like she was going to die when, in reality, she was just moving away. Luckily, that never happened.. but you can't say the same thing, it seems, and I'm sorry for it Feel free to vent here anytime. You're a wonderful person and what you've just said just proves it! I'm sure your boys will never forget you and your kindness.