I only have a psychiatrist . I wish I had a shrink or counsellor to sort out my past as I cant shake the memories

My psychiatrist put me to a shrink but he left and the next one I got was female and I found it hard to open up. I think it has to do with my mother. I've always been more comfortable around guys. I mistrust women even though I'm a gay girl. So I stopped seeing her. One because I was working and it was too hard to juggle the "homework" she gave me, and I maybe wasn't quite ready to reveal what makes me a "troubled" person.

I have spent more than my fair shy of time in a psyche ward believe me. I was under a section for seven months as I had "suicidal ideation." I will ask my psychiatrist if I can be re referred to the shrink, ive nothing to lose by asking.Even if I have to wait ages.

I did see a private counsellor. She was first person that I actually said out loud "I'm gay." This has taken a back seat in my problems list none the less (nervous laugh)