I know...but we'll also talk about some of my personal stuff in regular joint sessions with H. Because stuff that's affecting me can also affect our marriage. And it's given H a better understanding of how my brain works (H has said this). The times I've talked to MC individually (in session or on phone/e-mail/text) has generally been about me and my transference for him, not anything about H in particular. And if we do talk about something individually, I pretty much always share it with H on my own (like at home) or in session. Sometimes I just need to share it with MC first (because he won't judge whatever it is), if that makes any sense. And I think sometimes I'll tell MC something knowing I'll then need to tell H. So in some ways, I keep myself honest. I'll often tell H what it was even before our next session.

Though I know it's a convoluted way to go about it...