I understand what you are saying too, i look at my friends who are still married ( by my age both death & divorce are the cause of singleness) & even though I know their relationships arent perfect or even great, those i know that arent totally dysfunctional like mine was, I do often think (now I know what being emotionally connected at a friendship level with the wonderful people around me feels like) how nice it would be to really have the partnership & closeness in these older years, someone to really share life with those times when the rest of the community is in their own homes. I like my quiet alone times too probably because I was an only child but it could be nice to have what Ive never experienced either.

Lol, last Sunday I chased my neighbors horse back through my woods through the broken fence & got it through the gate & into the field with the other horse. My neighbors own the farm land but live an hour away. I had called them & they were actually on their way down when I called. He had lost his first wife to an illness the year before I moved here (9 years ago) He was looking to get remarried when I bought my farm (still not divorced yet). Well, he found a lady with money & into horses & married her right after I moved in. Had to laugh because she is very controlling in a nagging sort of way though she is sweet. While we were fixing the barbed wire fencing between our farms she would call on the cell phone while sitting in thevtruck waiting, then when he was loading things to take back with them out of the barn was making sure he was getting the antiques she valued & he thought was junk....his comment to me as I was helping him carry some of the things (he has heart problems) was: "Dont ever get married!" Had to chuckle because he was the one who wanted to be married right after losing his first wife. Noe easy to find THE RIGHT one unless great care is given in deciding who thst person will be.

dont give up hope....one never knows. One person I first met after moving here was my pharmacist. He lost his first wife to cancer around 2011. She was a very special lady. He also did not want to stay single & met this really nice lady who had never been married. I met her when they started dating in group situations & connected with her. I was thrilled when they ended up getting married. She was in her 50's at the time. They make a great couple & Im thrilled for both of them. She also thought she would NEVER find someone to be close with & marry. You just NEVER know when or with who it might happen so dont give up hope. It hasnt been easy for her adjusting to married life but its getting easier.