It's a lonely place, on the sobriety road. I have a different addiction but the triggers are similar.
I think it was Em who mentioned support groups.I know why your avoiding it, because sharing the shame and the pain makes it all the more real.

I can do this on my own, pretend it never happened, no one else will know. Thing is I know, I am not moving forward, because a part of me is still hiding from it.
I need to stand up and be counted I guess.

In regards to a previous comment, alcoholics can't drink. There is no just having one or two socially. Abstinence is the only cure.

Honestly Intro, reach out, it is scary at first. Go to a meeting or two and just hear some others out. It might help to see them face to face. It's different reading stuff online.

Whatever you decide though, we are all still here tho.