Oh my word.....I don't even no where to start.

You are suffering very serious retroactive jealousy. Yes it's an actual thing! And yes you can get help. And you need to, because what you are calling love is obsession and possession.

Gifts, kisses, hugs, pedicures and oral sex. Non of these mean love.
Respect. Trust. Compassion. Acceptance. These are what love is made of.

What you are feeling now is NOT love, and you need help before you hurt this woman so much she runs from you.