it is a very tough road for me . Been alone allot then meet someone connect now back alone which makes it worse because before when I was pretty much always alone it didn't seem to bother me but now after having that Taste of friendship and closeness after many many years then it ripped out of my life well it is doing me in . had another all nighter couldn't sleep two days ago but I was fine actually enjoying myself , then Bam it all hit me again. spent the day all messed up . yesterday my Niece came over we talked for a while she left. I felt ok actually was about to get a little sleep . but then my heart wrenched with pain and it woke me up early 5am fell asleep after 2am lots of mental pain. strange have the sweats and weird bad gut feeling like there is something really wrong and bad that is going to happen. hard to fight that feeling it is draining me today. just want to make tit through the day and hope tomorrow is better.