I know how hard it is to see a doctor - I have my own reasons why I don't see them. But I agree with other members - a doctor is a necessary pathway (especially in the UK) to be referred to see a psychiatrist.

Also, tread with extreme caution when using drugs from abroad - you can never be entirely sure what's in them.

I can relate to what you're going through, and I am really sorry. I do hope things can improve for you soon.