well I'm not a professional analyst but I'll give it a shot for you!

It is ALL about family and your relationships (and no, I haven't read your post in depression yet.)
From what you have shared here at PC, I can see correlations to your issues with family.

You keep going to them, to try and work things through. But they rob you of even your happiness most times. Those who you were close too, aren't anymore, and only show affection/appreciation when it's convenient to them, not when they have other things to control.

But you not only long for their affection, you want them to help you too. Maybe one has offered but hasn't come through? Another just won't help.

I'm a little fuzzy on who the 3 women are... someone could be a member here I guess... and how you responded but was treated back? And the children? Do I really need to remind you of your concern for your grandchildren?

I think you do feel as though you could "lose it all" referring to the love of the people you care so much about!