Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306
Well this is his choice, isn't it.
What you can do, in my opinion however, is to set down some boundaries; like no smoking indoors, etc. I would still have tha conversation regarding concerns you have but ultimately this is his decision to make.
Question: what were his smoking habits before you got married and even before you started dating? If this was something you chose to tolerate then I don't think you should expect him to change now.
Are you prepared for this to be a deal breaker?
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I understand that it's his choice and because of that I have never suggested that he shouldn't do it because then he'll do it behind my back and I don't want that even though I do feel like that now since he didn't keep our agreement. We had an arranged marriage and I didn't know he smoked until a few weeks into our marriage because even then he never smoked (he's open with me and I do the laundry so if he was smoking behind my back I would know) and when I asked him if he wanted to continue he told me it was something he tried but wasn't interested in continuing and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that he started smoking again and now he's doing it all the time. You're right that I should just set some boundaries and if he wants to continue doing it then just accept it. I keep asking him if he's going to buy more once he's done with his current pack and he keeps telling me "I don't know" but I know very well that he will and I just need him to be honest with me and not say one thing and do another. That's my only dilemma- how do I get him to understand that what he's doing is bothering me? I've tried talking to him and he thinks the issue is with him smoking and how much he's doing it and not about him not keeping his word.