I don't really know what I am in terms of gender. I'm male bodied but I have never really felt masculine. I have did some light cross dressing and I'm totally fine with that but I always feel like I'm just going to be a guy in a dress. I'm not okay with my standard equipment if you know what I mean. But that is not the worse part the worse part is that I'm actually jealous of some of my lady family members. Its like why did they get to be like that naturally. And what is worse than that is some of the girls in my family have just entered puberty and seeing them change into children into the young women they are becoming is very triggering to me. Am I okay? Is this normal? Or am I just sick?