It sounds so dramatic to try to outrun depression and suicidality but having read thousands of posts on the site I know that you all understand the battle. It is such a battle to find the right medications if you want them, the right therapist, the right environment, job, friends etc. Some are lucky enough to have a supportive spouse and family, a cozy home, financial security, pets, and/or meaningful careers. Others not so lucky. We all gather here to support one another. When I saw all the hugs on this thread I felt like crying. A really good support forum is worth its weight in gold. (Does an online forum weigh anything? Well, you know what I mean.) Love you, guys. Blessings to all.