Quote:
Originally Posted by chasse
My therapist who I have been seeing for about 4 years on and off has recently been talking about her children because her daughter is getting married soon. she has just been mentioning it and not taking up any of my time. It feels horrible to hear of her child getting married and not having this happen in my own life and that her daughter is so much younger than me. i just wish she wouldn't talk about her children being in successful relationships as it makes me have all these thoughts like 'maybe if i was born in a different family' 'i feel jealous'
I dont feel as though these feelings are rational or normal.
A month ago she told me that she was proud of me and i burst into tears wondering why she could tell me that but my own family couldnt or didnt say it.
since then these feelings of wanting to be closer as in her friend, daughter or other family member have burst out and they dont make any sense as if that happened i wouldnt have her as a therapist.
My thoughts dont make any sense really..
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This sounds like maternal transference, and it's pretty common in therapy. I have some maternal transference for my T and lots of paternal transference for my marriage counselor--I've felt jealous when he was talking about his kids before, even though they're teens and I'm in my late 30s. Especially when he's talked about how he's helped them with their anxiety, which is something my parents weren't/aren't really able to do (when I was a kid or now).
I'd suggest talking to your T about this. She's probably had it happen in the past with other clients (unless she's brand new as a T). She can probably help you understand that your feelings are normal and may come from stuff you missed out on in childhood--or even now. I've found talking about it, although scary and difficult, has really helped me deal with it. Especially hearing that it's such a common reaction to therapy.
