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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I don't think it was sinister or controlling. I think it was more like, don't assume he's going to hurt/abandon me or change the boundaries just because other people's T's have. I feel like you have to really be able to trust a T to get something out of therapy.
You've made your views on therapy very clear throughout this forum, so I'm sure you'd say you should never trust a T. But if I'm just waiting for him or for my T to hurt me, then I don't see how that will help me either. It's one thing to be cautious, another to be afraid. (Not that I'm not afraid anyway...)
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Sinister was probably too strong a word. To me trusting a therapist is an oxymoron. They don't give you enough information to trust them, but expect it anyway. Seems more like faith they are expecting. I wouldn't say never trust a therapist; rather I tend to trust only people who appear to be authentic and who are not motivated in their behavior by profit-seeking or other troublesome factors. Seems to me reading this forum would help with trust, because it gives the client a more rounded perspective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I'm sorry you had to go through this. I think T's often *think* they are doing it for the benefit of the client. I think many don't do it maliciously or selfishly. But maybe they realize they messed up, that their boundaries were too loose, that they allowed the client to be too dependent on them, etc....and then they overcorrect in order to fix it. Which ends up hurting the client.
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Yes they do probably often assume their boundary setting and other controlling or punitive measures are benefitting the client. But i think there is a fine line between this and serving their own needs, such as the need to be right or to feel powerful in relationship with others, or to simply not be bothered by needy clients. And in some cases i think it is not about the client at all, it is blatantly self-serving.