for me growing up up it was never easy , when i was 9 years old my father got kicked out from where we were living as a family , without any reason for that as we were told from the government " they just don't want him there "
so m family was halved and we couldn't reunite because we didn't have enough money to move to another country , he sent me a message from prison because they wouldn't allow him to see any visitors , as a weak 9 years old kid i was so naive and so week happened to have like 21 mental break downs in 2 months period , after that it was total numbness for 11 years , in that phase growing up i was feeling nothing at all , i felt so strong so invincible i haven't even cry even when alot of deaths occurred in my family , in recent times after moving countries i suffered a phase of tough depression with self harming , i was able to get out of it after treatment
since i did come out of it i am beginning to feel more sad and more happy , i can be easily hurt even the urge to cry at a sensitive movie clip
i hate myself being this person , i want to go back to being numb
would any one plz help me find my way ?
thank you all