On Thursday I had the commute from hell (the route I was supposed to take was closed as well as the alternate route, so it took me over 3 hours to get home), and then I got home to find that my kitty, who has a pancreatic tumor, had thrown up some 10 times.

I took her to the vet the next day, they gave her fluids, antinausea med and pain killer. I've been taking special care of her since. The vet said that she may not be 'with us' in 6 months, what my regular vet said a couple of months ago, because of her tumor.

I've been missing work because of my kitty and being flooded in this condo complex. Work itself has been very stressful.

I wonder, sometimes, how much stress it will take for me to blow and sink into a depression or fly into hypo/mania. I just don't know. I worry about it.

I have a lot I need to do before going back to work on Wednesday (I work partime and am grateful for this, though because I have Obamacare and due to financial reasons, I need to find a full time job and I haven't been able to), but I feel tremendously anxious and paralyzed.

What will/would it take for me to fall off the edge? I've been stable for so long I've had a hard time remembering what it was like to not be stable. But now I'm afraid. I'm afraid for my poor kitty as well. All I can do is do my best to take care of her. When I go back to work, though, I won't be here much because of my long commute. I hate to leave her alone, I worry, and will more than ever after this episode of what was probably pancreatitis.

What will it take to fall off the edge? I try not to worry. I'm scared.