I'm so anxious I can't do anything. My cat is stable. Which means still pretty sick. I'm scared because he has bloody tinged mucus and the internet says that is bad. He's never had that before with a respiratory infection. He also has this big lump on his head. He had that biopsied in December and it had both infection and potentially cancerous cells in it. But it drained overnight after the biopsy and the antibiotics cured it. So it was considered bacterial and the potential cancer cells just anomalies. But now that is back. So either it is the source of all this infection or he coincidentally has this and the illness (big coincidence since the lump is over the goopy eye and side of his nose that is draining gross stuff). Or he has cancer and all this infection is just part of that.

So I'm terrified of what I'll find out tomorrow. I know infection is the logical bet but anatomically I don't know if that makes sense.

I don't want to have to make end of life decisions. I'm so afraid. And I'm afraid of another night. I have to take meds tonight but I'm scared he'll get worse.

Right now he's mad at me because I shut both of us in the bathroom with steam for a while. He was no impressed even though usually he loves the bathroom--just not with the door closed and shower running I guess.

I don't want to lose him.