All your anxuety might lessen tremendoysly when yoy get out of this bad marriage. I was in a bad marriage way too long (33) years taking vows seriously. Only way I tolerated it for the first 20 years was hiding out in my career. Sfter career was ended, depression set in. It got worse as then I ended up financially trapped in the marriage. Depression & anxiety got so bad, i started attempting suicide thinking it was my only way to escape. Dont let it go thst far....get out before investing any more of YOUR VALUABLE TIME.