Oh girl I'm so at a loss for you. My heart hurts that you've suffered so much it's amazing that you've come this far. That being said you have come so far! You gotta reach way down in that survival girl package and dig deep and I mean deep! We didn't survive hell to keep losing all the wonderful people and love ❤️ and everything that is awesome in this world! See there's so much good we miss because the trauma of our PTSD trips us up! There's no quick fix. Or not for me. It was every sunset and sunrise. The little things in life pictures safe places small at first. Meditation coffee shops and laughing really laughing.. time friends and the little things girl.. love yourself never stop believing in you..♥️