I had "wish I were dead" thoughts since I was 3-4 y ears old. As an adult, I did suicidal back-up thoughts as a potential "way out." One thing that originally gave me to realize I would never, never commit suicide was Bishop James Pike's book "The Other Side." I've also come to realize the terrible pain anyone's suicide has on others they know. Also it's my understanding that once a person has done a suicide, the following generation/s have more chance of doing that later on. My meds have completely removed these suicidal thought, for over 15 years. My little sister, 6 years younger than me, has told me (in our old age) "I grew up hearing you say you wished you'd never been born." I still feel like I would not want to live most of my earlier life over again. I don't think about it much, but I truly feel that way. The closest I ever came to an attempt at suicide, was when my addicted ex-husband and I were fighting. I went into the bathroom to see if I could my wrists but I could not harm myself. (I tried to give myself prescribed allergy shots when I was in my teens, and could not do that, either. Had to go to the college infirmary for a nurse to do them.)