Hello,
It feels very strange to open my heart here on a forum but... i feel like it might be good for me...
There's this boy in my class who i really liked. Then one day he visited me at my house and told me he was really in love with me. GREAT! Right?
Welp...
I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and sad... for some reason...
Then my feelings for him suddenly lessened. I was almost crazy about him but my feelings changed into depression and anxiety.
Could be because of my past relationship, in which i got extremely hurt. I shared my worries with him and he is very supportive, wants to be there for me and prove me "wrong".
AMAZING! Right...?
It really is, and i feel even more horrible because i feel really, really depressed.
I feel like i am not ready for relationship in my life, i just moved to a new city for university, i dont really know what im doing with my life and.. he is really serious about me. I also love him and care about him but... Im scared of getting hurt in an unhealthy way. He is extremely supportive, wants me to choose whatever makes me happy... i do not want him out of my life, i have this horrible feeling inside me when we are together for long periods of time... I do not know why im like this... im so horrible.
I started taking Prozac and its been about a month but it does not help at all with my intense panic attacks and depression.
I cannot keep living like this... i get panic attacks at 5AM everyday, then cant fall back asleep. Its absolutely horrible. I cannot deal with the depression, i have even fallen ill multiple times...
Im thinking about getting professional help & maybe changing my meds... I really do not know what to do...
If you read all, thank you so much and im sorry..