As Crazy Hitch suggested, the problems that are appearing online come from his personality and so will also appear in person. He sounds like he tends to try to control you so that his needs for contact can be fulfilled by you in the way that he wants them filled.

I think that you are raising some legitimate concerns and I am glad that you are taking them seriously and looking at them with honesty.

When you prepare to meet him in person, I think you should keep an open mind. I would favor an attitude of "meeting him will provide more evidence on whether or not he can make me happy and be a good partner for me".