Hi Asphyxia,

You wrote:

This is certainly a common feeling feeling amongst us sufferers. You are NOT alone. It does not surprise me that your mother invalidates you: that is usual in Borderline families. I don't say that to discredit or invalidate your pain, only to point out that perhaps you can separate yourself from feeling so hurt by your mother by setting boundaries and accepting the role she has played and continues to play in exacerbating your illness. Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship with your mother and really put your foot down; set boundaries so that you no longer feel hurt by her. (Hard to do and takes time, but it can be done)

I would say that having a marriage is an extremely successful feat! Longest relationship I have had is a little over a month. I don't know how you do it - but it shows to me that there is hope for us to have meaningful and successful (albeit, fallible) relationships with others. How does your husband respond to your mental health struggles? Is he more understanding and compassionate? How does he treat your mother in response to her invalidation? Do you think he would say something to your mom? Ever considered having an intervention? Sometimes all it takes is a bit of shared insight.

Also - have you ever told your mother that her invalidation bothers you? Helping her to understand how you feel is an obvious response to invalidation - but sometimes people don't even consider trying. Wouldn't be fair to expect someone to change their ways if they don't know there is a problem in the first place. Then again, sometimes people try and it makes no difference; thus, any attempt to help someone understand becomes futile...

I hope you are feeling better,
HD7970ghz