Tried to detox myself using small amounts of alcohol to slowly eliminate physical shakes, chills, cravings. It backfired. Started drinking more and more, getting drunk and blacking out. You know the drill. Had 13 months until Dec 17. Relapsed. Now I have 3 days sober. My sober AA nutty buddy pushed me into picking up a white chip in the meeting of 50 people I didn't know today. I said what the hell. I don't care what they think. Three totally nice women came over to me after the meeting and shook my hand and gave me their numbers and talked to me. I had been hiding out in the back but now I feel connected. They extended the hand of AA to me. I felt loved. I'm a chronic relapser. 2 1/2 years 3 times in a row, then 1 year 3 times, 13 months this last time. It's ok I'll get as much time as I can, it's better than nothing which is drinking and My life goes to chaos in 10 seconds flat. Totally dysfunctional alkie. So Im trying once again.