I have self medicated with alcohol but for me it turned on me many years ago.

Then in 2005 I quit...for 8 years.
Then in 2014 I drank again to get those feelings....relaxation...escape.

I can't drink thou because it lands me in the hospital all the time now.

My Dr. did say that for years I have self medicated with alcohol and we are trying to find a balance with psyche meds but like B1 said...even when I have had stable periods over the last 3 years on medication...I still want to drink for the drinking feeling.

Nope your not alone.