I've tried lots of meds they don't seem to help... but I am currently taking abilify, Cymbalta, prazosin...

its definitely time to change the meds though because after many months of no progress I think its safe to say they aren't really the right meds... I just seem to be highly resistant to medication or something... it hurts

I guess atleast I'm not allergic and having lots of bad reactions... right fuzzy <3

I try to make myself play music and stuff since I'm supposed to be a musician... but its hard, I cant get into the mode/mood... I try to make myself play video games because I'm supposed to be a gamer, but same problem... I try to make myself read since I'm supposed to love reading and learning... I try to make myself communicate with others... try try try I try so hard and I just get no where

getting tired of trying... atleast I'm not self harming... but the reason I'm not doing that is the same reasons for the games, reading, music, ect ect... I just feel so empty and drained.. not identifying with much of anything and feeling no connections with anything... scared I'm going to go insane and flip out... don't wanna go back to the hospital because its too traumatizing...

this sucks... so bad..

find myself trying to sleep or pacing back and forth going out of my mind... looking hectically for distractions to keep myself from lozing my mind...