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Old Jan 31, 2017, 09:28 AM
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captgut captgut is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
The idealizing sounds like transference. I had the idealizing sort of paternal transference for my marriage counselor at first (and some erotic transference, too). Told him about this, and he's shared more of the real stuff about himself that showed he was far from perfect (like yelling at his kids till they cried, etc.). So it just became more, I guess, regular paternal transference. Which is still very difficult at times (like yesterday!) but I see him as a real, imperfect father and human being now. Which helps.

Have you told your T that his life seems perfect to you, and that's difficult for you? Assuming he's willing to disclose some stuff, maybe he could tell you ways that it's not so perfect? Or even if he won't disclose particular things, maybe just talking about your impression of his life would help, like to get those feelings out?

i never told but i think i should. thank you! of course i feel nervous but i'll tell...may be. some day. omg.

i think i have both paternal and erotic transference, but it never was a problem. one day he just became too perfect without a reason. it makes me feel even more useless and unimportant than before. i can't understand what happened.

I'm sorry you had a difficult session yesterday, are you ok?
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight