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<font color="green">Here are two that I wrote about my therapist. I gave them to her as well, they are both expressions of my fear of abandonment-- the first one is several years old but the other is fairly recent.
She Can Hardly Breathe
She is drowning in fear
That wells up from deep inside.
That eats at her confidence
And destroys her composure.
She can hardly breathe.
She is afraid to let go
And, afraid to hold on.
It is so hard now,
How much harder will it be?
When you cannot
Endure her neediness.
Maybe it would be
Better to let go now.
To even drive you away now
So that She can survive.
She doesn't know if she can survive
Another change, another hurt.
She hates not having answers,
Only questions.
She wants to control her life
But at every turn
Something else controls
And she is flotsam
On the ocean of her own life.
How can She trust, why would She?
The fear inside is a living thing
With sharp teeth and razor claws.
She is bleeding inside.
Perhaps if she bled on the outside
The pain would not be so wrenching.
She can hardly breathe.
Can I Trust You?
Can I trust you?
How can I be,
Asking this
Same old question.
But can I trust you?
I think I need to
I want to
So I ask it once again.
So many times
In fear and trembling,
I’ve asked
You answer just the same.
Why can’t I trust?
You prove yourself
Over and over
But still I fear to trust.
I find that fear
Seems more real to me
Than love
Or safety with another.
I know I can trust you
My fear is really the lie
I wonder
Can you trust me?
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__________________
dalila
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-Erma Bombeck
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