Quote:
Originally Posted by Parva
I have a question specifically for this group -
How do you know if therapy is helping? We all understand that it's a long process fraught with pain and challenge. But how do you know that the process isn't making things worse?
I have this strong sense that over the 5 years I've been doing this - and like you, I work really really hard at it - that my life just keeps getting progressively worse. Some of the events with my first T caused some of it (ended up in a romantic relationship in the midst of maternal transference that was catastrophic - long story...), and now I don't feel like there's much hope for progress.
The question is this: How do you know when it's time to pull the plug. Not find a new T, but throw in the towel and just limp through the rest of life.
I hope this doesn't trigger anyone. Thanks for your thoughts.
|
That's actually a very good question.
I haven't been in therapy, so I can't give an educated feedback. The reason for me is I get skeptical, distrusting toward a therapist, unless I completely believe in his ability for recovery.
for instance, I have an absolute faith that Pete Walker can definitely help CPTSD patients toward personal growth and healing. Pete Walker has a chapter at the end of his book about " untherapized therapists !", which just shows how much sensitive the issue at hand. You are absolutely right when you say therapists can sometimes make things worse.
When working with a not " good enough" therapist (We should emphasize on the human character of the therapist and in expecting he also can make mistakes, slight transgressions which might trigger us. The relationship must still feel genuine though most of the time), He or She will shame us even more and magnify our belief that we are beyond repair. We are all human beings, and we all come from families with varying degrees of upbringing, even the therapist has " issues" and these issues can be reenacted with the patient, leaving him confused, unless the therapist works seriously on himself and become aware of his own issues.
I'm borrowing from Gershen Kaufman book in my above explanation. So, being a therapist is not an easy feat.
Gershen Kaufman has also some powerful admission about psychotherapy. He is freely admitting that he thought he can heal every patient in his practice, and got shamed whenever his methods don't work on someone. He is saying that he is also a human being who is offering help, it depends sometimes on us and us only if we want real change in our lives.
So my thoughts to you, if you have a fierce strong desire inside you toward change, you can do it even without the help of a therapist.
Sorry for being too intellectual, but your question made me think for a while.