ughhh.. I'm wondering if I'm headed towards some mania. I've been stupidly impulsive all week. Earlier this week I wrote this big long monologue explaining in detail (too much) about my first manic episode and all of the trouble and messes I made. I shared with a group of friends on a Facebook group chat. And pretty much alienated them. I wrote it because one of them always says he is manic over this or that and I decided that he should know what it really means to be manic. And then I shared it to another friend telling him about how I disturbed some friends.. and then I disturbed him I think. He responded with 'Are you okay'?

And now I have this anxiety feeling building in my gut and head.. which led to that poem. It was just over half an hour ago that I wrote that poem and impulsively posted it here. Now that I read it again .. it seems so trite and 'done'. Uggh...