Hi,

I have a lot of problems on my hands. I am separating from my husband after nearly 14 years because he just cannot be emotionally supportive through my long standing complex PTSD and Depression. I have struggled so much! He just cannot understand what happens to me and leaves me to care for our three kids while I fight to stay present and patient. It is a battle every moment of every day. I am the poster woman for every single Complex PTSD symptom. I have been to inpatient and residential treatment centers. I've been in therapy consistently for 6 years. I've been a guinea pig for the pharmaceutical companies and my various psychiatrists.

Because my husband has become an adversarial person in my life, I have totally turned on him in my mind as the enemy. I only see him as someone who causes me pain. We cannot talk to each other without escalating to fighting and this affects our kids greatly. As of late, I have been driven to the precipice of acting out in a dissociative rage. All of a sudden, I flip a switch inside my head and I react without thinking. It is impulsive and terrifying. I am afraid that I will hurt him. Because of this, I have asked that he not be in my presence and that we only interact through text. I am terrified of my pent up anger and my ability to lose space and time and react in such a manor. Does anyone understand this? I feel so scared and alone and I desperately need support from others going through what I'm going through.

Please help!
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