I am sorry you have suffered so much. I don't know what internet restrictions if any exist in Egypt, but are you able to explore online therapy? If you are near a major city you may have a better opportunity to find good therapy especially if you are in university. Keep posting and welcome. There are people from all over the world here who may have good ideas. Also, don't let non professionals diagnose you. I was once misdiagnosed as BPd but it turns out I have an anxious attachment style. Even if you do have BPd you can get better.