YESI can relate to what you are saying in how your husband can fan the flames instead of helping you cool down. I actually know what you are describing where he can push you into such an angry state too. I have experienced that myself. My last therapist had to sit and talk to my husband and while that helped a tiny bit, I still had problems with him fanning the flames.

If you can get a break from this routine and have time just for "you" that will help.