I do like to be alone, but not all the time. I would like to find someone when I need them. To go out every once in a while. I feel embarrassed to go out alone. I lost all my old connections except for one, and he lives half the world away. Also, I would like to start a family at my mid 30s, and lacking of social skills isn't helping me there either. Which is natural if you cannot form even a friendship first. I tried different groups and different dating sites. Nothing worked. But that's OK. I was just venting. Sometimes I have what feels like a wake up from a sleep and suddenly I realize my reality, although I'm often thinking of leaving from or staying where I am now because of my social isolation. Thanks for your post, though. Much appreciated.