Hello BlueBucket: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. I'm at the far end of life now. So the types of concerns you're struggling with are mostly behind me at this point. But I can certainly recall times in years past, when suddenly & for no apparent reason, it would seem like the fog would clear & I'd experience this sudden clarity & an accompanying burst of energy. And for at least a short time, I'd feel like I knew just what I needed to do to solve most if not all of my most perplexing problems. Somehow, it never lasted for me. Soon I was always just back to the same old muddle.

The book I always like to recommend with regard to discovering one's path in life is: Let Your Life Speak- Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer, Jossey-Bass, 2000. (Reading this slim volume is how the Skeezyks became a "wise old troll".) I send hugs with the hope that you will be able to find the energy & motivation you need to chase your dreams...