Your not/werent a bad person. You were trying to survive in a terrible situation. When your drowning you cling to anything to stay afloat. You kid yourself as much as you kid those around you.
Let it go. Cut yourself some slack. What's done is done, he could have left at anytime as well remember,
but he chose to stay just to abuse you.

Now is the time to begin healing, be gentle with yourself and take care.
I Might lay off dating for a little while longer.
Your nervous anxiety and need for reassurance might attract the wrong type of guy.
Take care, go to college, find some interests that introduce you to people with solar interests.
The right guy often turns up when you least expect it.

All the best.